Tanzedtab is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, cheerful owl.

Tanzedtab created time and space four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tanzedtab, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tanzedtab, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tanzedtab's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tanzedtab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

2. Pray only in shadows.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Tanzedtab on top of all buildings.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not name children after manatees.