Stanfossjampas is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, competent hummingbird.

Stanfossjampas created dark matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Stanfossjampas, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Stanfossjampas, he will not care at all.

Stanfossjampas' most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Stanfossjampas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always wash your chest before prayer.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.