Ril is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, contented mouse.

Ril created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ril, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ril, it will ignore you.

Ril's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Ril's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near dolphins while wearing magenta dresses and balancing four silver spheres on your feet.

3. Always share spinach with strangers, but never with ducks.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Do not sit in public.