Cetgarcar is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, staggering newt.

Cetgarcar created matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetgarcar, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cetgarcar, it will think nothing of it.

Cetgarcar's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Cetgarcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt seals.

2. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

3. You must pray to Cetgarcar seven times a day.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not prepare beans while wearing hats.