Bifjenyarp is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, strong eagle.

Bifjenyarp created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Bifjenyarp, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bifjenyarp, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bifjenyarp's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Bifjenyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the east during spring.

2. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

3. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Always treat seals with great respect.