Daparmartlarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, deceitful mouse.

Daparmartlarp created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Daparmartlarp, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Daparmartlarp, she will turn you into a dog.

Daparmartlarp's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Daparmartlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never record names.

5. Always look after injured shrews.