Wabrutcen is a god.

She takes the form of a large, dishonest duck.

Wabrutcen created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wabrutcen, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wabrutcen, she will turn you into a sheep.

Wabrutcen's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Wabrutcen's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wabrutcen.

3. Never feed lots of parsnips to snails while wearing indigo ear rings.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in white.