Ditlarpwikhap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, bad-tempered troll.

Ditlarpwikhap created a quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditlarpwikhap, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ditlarpwikhap, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Ditlarpwikhap's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Ditlarpwikhap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat corn.

2. Never sit in winter.

3. Always remove coats before touching tin.

4. Always act with purity when addressing priests.

5. Never sprint in holy places.