Ontsandsan is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, cheerful mole.

Ontsandsan created the Large Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontsandsan, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Ontsandsan, he will send you a sign.

Ontsandsan's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Ontsandsan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

2. Retreat if five dolphins approach from the south.

3. Do not study enzymes on holy days.

4. Always maintain humility during fasting days.

5. Do not take Ontsandsan's name in vain.