Hanquillnabgum is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, overgenerous mouse.

Hanquillnabgum created carbon three million years ago.

If you believe in Hanquillnabgum, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hanquillnabgum, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Hanquillnabgum's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Hanquillnabgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hanquillnabgum.

3. Never handle carbon while unclean.

4. Do not hurt snails.

5. Never record numbers.