Flowjapnutt is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, unsympathetic armadillo.

Flowjapnutt created oxygen two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowjapnutt, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flowjapnutt, he will turn you into a frog.

Flowjapnutt's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Flowjapnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear stockings.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Shun those given to vanity.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always cleanse ash with water.