Somjipvil is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, omnipotent owl.

Somjipvil created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somjipvil, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Somjipvil, it will destroy your home solar system.

Somjipvil's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Somjipvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Remain prostrate during prayer.

4. Always remove scarves before entering holy places.

5. Never eat green fruit.