Vogshavwonmit is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, kind ferret.

Vogshavwonmit created matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vogshavwonmit, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vogshavwonmit, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Vogshavwonmit's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Vogshavwonmit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vogshavwonmit.

4. Never gather eight ducks near towers.

5. Pray only in firelight.