Kinpongem is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, confident crocodile.

Kinpongem created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Kinpongem, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kinpongem, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kinpongem's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Kinpongem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.

2. Do not place bananas upon stone.

3. Put Kinpongem first in all things.

4. Do not gather at bridges at midnight.

5. Always wear plain hats during rituals.