Nullkommin is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, overgenerous otter.

Nullkommin created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Nullkommin, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nullkommin, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Nullkommin's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Nullkommin's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never eat lemons on days of mourning.

4. Never stain your back with pink.

5. Never look in ponds.