Padtamtan is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, all-powerful octopus.

Padtamtan created gold eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Padtamtan, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Padtamtan, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Padtamtan's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Padtamtan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Never mention cats.

4. You must never eat lentils.

5. Pray only in darkness.