Wegvenflis is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, unjust giraffe.

Wegvenflis created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wegvenflis, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wegvenflis, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Wegvenflis' most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Wegvenflis' Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Put Wegvenflis first in all things.

3. Never gather nine gulls in one place.

4. Never write about quantum mechanics.

5. Always count to seven before sleeping.