Quilldamtail is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, irritating tapir.

Quilldamtail created Africa five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quilldamtail, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quilldamtail, it will destroy your home planet.

Quilldamtail's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Quilldamtail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate quantum gravity during the night.

2. Erect a giant green sculpture of Quilldamtail in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never point your head toward the east during prayer.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near ducks while wearing fawn kilts and balancing seven tin spheres on your chest.

5. Never feed lots of tomatoes to seals while wearing cyan scarves.