Quafmumbagvidsterpom is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witty turtle.

Quafmumbagvidsterpom created an electron seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafmumbagvidsterpom, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quafmumbagvidsterpom, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Quafmumbagvidsterpom's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Quafmumbagvidsterpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your legs with green.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Do not gather at towers at dusk.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Quafmumbagvidsterpom on top of all buildings.