Zedhitcudzen is a god.

He takes the form of a small, impressive clam.

Zedhitcudzen created an electron six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedhitcudzen, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zedhitcudzen, he will turn you into a snail.

Zedhitcudzen's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Zedhitcudzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not consume cucumbers at dawn.

4. Never record secrets.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.