Rancamfagcat is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, unthoughtful crocodile.

Rancamfagcat created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Rancamfagcat, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rancamfagcat, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Rancamfagcat's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Rancamfagcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near mites while wearing white coats and balancing four carbon spheres on your arms.

2. Feed all hungry ants.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing mauve trousers and balancing nine silicon spheres on your hands.

4. Always obey Rancamfagcat's priests.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.