Matloptim is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, self-confident fish.

Matloptim created an electron eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Matloptim, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Matloptim, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Matloptim's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Matloptim's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in autumn.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Never gather eight moths in one place.

4. Feed all hungry swans.

5. Never think ill of sick voles.