Bestgatpig is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, narcissistic goblin.

Bestgatpig created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Bestgatpig, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bestgatpig, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bestgatpig's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Bestgatpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place spinach upon stone.

2. Worship no other gods but Bestgatpig.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always maintain purity during fasting days.

5. Never point your hands toward the west during prayer.