Nuttvabstig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, amazing zebra.

Nuttvabstig created vertebrates nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttvabstig, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nuttvabstig, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nuttvabstig's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Nuttvabstig's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never speak aloud of signs.

3. Never mark doors with magenta.

4. Do not eat cherries.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.