Nurcumwon is a god.

She takes the form of a small, almighty penguin.

Nurcumwon created a down quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurcumwon, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurcumwon, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nurcumwon's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Nurcumwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black shorts.

2. Always remove jumpers before entering holy places.

3. Always share turnips with strangers, but never with cats.

4. Do not keep nine eagles in a large pit.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near horses while wearing gray scarves and balancing eight lead spheres on your neck.