Mongessnel is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, slow crocodile.

Mongessnel created a bottom quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mongessnel, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Mongessnel, she will cry a lot.

Mongessnel's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Mongessnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Run away from turquoise foxes, for they are unholy.

3. Always share cherries with strangers, but never with ants.

4. Never jump in the presence of turtles.

5. Always help sick whales.