Lunlatquat is a god.

He takes the form of a large, idiotic goose.

Lunlatquat created a charm quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Lunlatquat, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lunlatquat, he will turn you into a slug.

Lunlatquat's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Lunlatquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant while facing west.

2. Do not wear skirts marked with blue.

3. Never handle carbon while unclean.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Retreat if four birds approach from the south.