Tenlatfig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, humane seal.

Tenlatfig created the solar system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tenlatfig, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tenlatfig, she will turn you into a mole.

Tenlatfig's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Tenlatfig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist chaos.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never talk about special relativity near ants while wearing pink corsets.

5. Do not eat spinach.