Vantafnulkankom is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, quiet bee.

Vantafnulkankom created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vantafnulkankom, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vantafnulkankom, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Vantafnulkankom's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Vantafnulkankom's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the north during winter.

2. Never wear blue shorts.

3. Always act with humility.

4. Remain bowed during prayer.

5. Do not step barefoot upon indigo earth.