Lam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, deceitful dryad.

Lam created the world three million years ago.

If you believe in Lam, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lam, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Lam's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Lam's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always help aardvarks.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not consume coconuts at dawn.