Gedlarn is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, selfish donkey.

Gedlarn created the Andromeda Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gedlarn, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gedlarn, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gedlarn's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Gedlarn's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Gedlarn.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

4. Never sprint in holy places.

5. Never speak at midnight.