Fidbetbog Jipcityog is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, tiresome donkey.

Fidbetbog Jipcityog created parasitic wasps two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidbetbog Jipcityog, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fidbetbog Jipcityog, it will cry a lot.

Fidbetbog Jipcityog's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Fidbetbog Jipcityog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help turtles.

2. Never think about dark energy near voles while wearing white coats and balancing seven lead spheres on your hands.

3. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Never feed peanuts to goats while wearing yellow hats.