Fetsigrat is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, confident raven.

Fetsigrat created an up quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetsigrat, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fetsigrat, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Fetsigrat's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Fetsigrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never record numbers.

2. Do not take Fetsigrat's name in vain.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.