Bifbisstarptadnel is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, loving aardvark.

Bifbisstarptadnel created the Sun nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifbisstarptadnel, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bifbisstarptadnel, it will turn you into a plant.

Bifbisstarptadnel's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Bifbisstarptadnel's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never sprint in holy places.

3. Always wear plain coats during rituals.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bifbisstarptadnel.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.