Kemzagvenpom is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, passionate shrew.

Kemzagvenpom created parasitic wasps seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemzagvenpom, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kemzagvenpom, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kemzagvenpom's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Kemzagvenpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat turnips.

2. Never mention dolphins.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always act with obedience.

5. Do not commit murder.