Fotzenpark is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, proud bear.

Fotzenpark created a quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fotzenpark, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Fotzenpark, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Fotzenpark's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Fotzenpark's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always obey Fotzenpark's priests.

3. Fotzenpark loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never wear black kilts on sacred days.