Hambusdanminkamarnlarg is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, staggering crab.

Hambusdanminkamarnlarg created vertebrates five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hambusdanminkamarnlarg, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hambusdanminkamarnlarg, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Hambusdanminkamarnlarg's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Hambusdanminkamarnlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

4. Always share gooseberries with strangers, but never with squirrels.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.