Hitfetdid is a god.

He takes the form of a large, merciful finch.

Hitfetdid created parasitic wasps eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitfetdid, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hitfetdid, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Hitfetdid's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Hitfetdid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Hitfetdid.

3. Never talk about gulls.

4. Never eat rice on fasting days.

5. Fast once a month.