Narlfigbestcum is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, dishonourable fish.

Narlfigbestcum created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Narlfigbestcum, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Narlfigbestcum, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Narlfigbestcum's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Narlfigbestcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about oranges.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Erect a giant black sculpture of Narlfigbestcum in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not resist order.