Zimparktim Wikdubstig is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, idiotic whale.

Zimparktim Wikdubstig created Asia twelve years ago.

If you believe in Zimparktim Wikdubstig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Zimparktim Wikdubstig, he will be very unhappy.

Zimparktim Wikdubstig's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Zimparktim Wikdubstig's Holy Commandments

1. Put Zimparktim Wikdubstig first in all things.

2. Do not contemplate gravity during the night.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always help sick voles.

5. Never record numbers.