Fonnuttgod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, intelligent spider.

Fonnuttgod created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonnuttgod, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fonnuttgod, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fonnuttgod's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Fonnuttgod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick goats.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always act with humility when addressing priests.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.