Nilsoglid is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, ruthless jellyfish.

Nilsoglid created the planet Venus four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilsoglid, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nilsoglid, it will turn you into a mouse.

Nilsoglid's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Nilsoglid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.

3. Always remove shorts before touching tin.

4. Never approach forests carrying bone.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.