Quafjinbif Mipnurlhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish swallow.

Quafjinbif Mipnurlhiv created light four billion years ago.

If you believe in Quafjinbif Mipnurlhiv, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quafjinbif Mipnurlhiv, it will manifest in front of you.

Quafjinbif Mipnurlhiv's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Quafjinbif Mipnurlhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about lemons.

2. Always act with obedience.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Always remove ear rings before entering holy places.

5. Never look at planets.