Arnhogcutbassin is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, effective gerbil.

Arnhogcutbassin created a photon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnhogcutbassin, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Arnhogcutbassin, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Arnhogcutbassin's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Arnhogcutbassin's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in shadows.

2. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Arnhogcutbassin in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not take Arnhogcutbassin's name in vain.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.