Podtandag is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, unsympathetic wyvern.

Podtandag created Mount Everest eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Podtandag, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Podtandag, it will come to you in dreams.

Podtandag's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Podtandag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare coconuts while wearing kilts.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never touch water while tainted.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Never fashion tools from wood.