Zaksidpog is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, self-confident newt.

Zaksidpog created time and space seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zaksidpog, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zaksidpog, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Zaksidpog's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Zaksidpog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help nematodes in need.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never approach rivers carrying stone.

4. Zaksidpog loves mites, so they must be respected.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.