Quagnatcat is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fussy wyvern.

Quagnatcat created the Sombrero Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagnatcat, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quagnatcat, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Quagnatcat's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Quagnatcat's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never talk about chromosomes.

3. Do not consume spinach at dawn.

4. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

5. Do not keep six sheep in a large pit.