Gedtimbesskem is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, almighty snake.

Gedtimbesskem created a down quark two years ago.

If you believe in Gedtimbesskem, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gedtimbesskem, he will boil you in a big pot.

Gedtimbesskem's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Gedtimbesskem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from lead.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.