Ranyartjen is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, almighty walrus.

Ranyartjen created a strange quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Ranyartjen, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ranyartjen, it will ignore you.

Ranyartjen's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Ranyartjen's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick cats.

2. Always count to seven before sleeping.

3. Never mention ducks.

4. Do not keep three turtles in a large pit.

5. Never think ill of sick dogs.