Sanpakmum is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, unsympathetic bee.

Sanpakmum created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sanpakmum, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sanpakmum, it will be very sad.

Sanpakmum's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Sanpakmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat carrots.

2. Never feed bread to badgers while wearing hats.

3. Never record numbers.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Never feed tomatoes to capybaras while wearing gray stockings.